For Women: Cake, Calories, and 2 Corinthians 6:14
There is a dynamic principle at work in the dating world nowadays, clashing and culminating in an ultimate battle between women of God and men of ... well, nothing. See, the thing about Christian women is that agnostic or atheist men find us irresistibly easy to fall in love with...because well, we are so different. What they don’t realize is their attraction to us stems from the one thing they avoid at all costs: GOD. This fact has entertained me for years now. Faithless girls aren’t the same as us, they can’t be, and faithless men are used to that. We are the unicorns of the modern dating pool. Right?
Despite this knowledge, we women of God often fight our own hearts when being pursued by any man whether he falls under the specificity that our religion states or not. We know we are created by our Lord to be pursued, loved, desired, and wanted; therefore any attention fulfilling these previously void areas of our hearts is welcomed with an expectant hesitancy...usually with “does he believe in God?” coming far down our list of concerns. Don’t lie, we’ve all done it at some point. In fact, some of us have fallen into this pit for up to two years of immovable commitment and hopeful waiting. We may rationalize it with “but he’s so perfect” or “he really gets me” or the best yet, “maybe he’ll change for me”. From here is born the “missionary dater” who “flirts to convert” or “dates to save”...I mean gosh, this could be the next youth Missions trip, right? No more building houses in upper Mexico, you don’t even have to leave your community! Some could say this ‘field’ is arguably more dangerous than that anyway, at least for the heart (Prov. 4:23). The strong may fall momentarily but snap out of it only to continue ‘waiting’ for God to part the heavens and drop their husband in front of them (we’ve also all done that) or better yet, they begin to barter with God, making promises or life changes as a means to assure that God won’t smite them in the husband department altogether. I urge you to ask yourself why, to truly know the reason we cling to this...is it simply because the bible advises against ‘unequal yoking’, or is it because of wanting biblical principles in your marriage and ultimately your parenting? And why is there an ever-present lack of strong, leading men of God who also have these irresistible confidences and romantic tendencies of their agnostic counterparts?
Although my own experience with this was several years ago now, I consistently watch close women in my life or outer circle struggle with wanting to ‘have their cake and eat it too’ in the realm of what I like to call ‘faith-full’ dating, or dating with faith as the intended first requirement. Truth is, I believe we, as God’s treasured daughters, deserve and are intended to have both. Who wants to make a cake just to stare at it? Eat the cake. We’ve saved our calories, damnit! It may just take an iron will and patient discernment to wait for the perfect kind.